As many of you are aware, it is summer break from school. Zoe has been out of school for two weeks already and we're feeling some adjustment pains. I think mostly Mommy is feeling those pains. I preface this post with the fact that I love my babies and am very blessed to stay at home with them. When it comes to blogging and social media I usually keep it up beat with happy pictures and stories. One day last week was was not a happy picture and story day. Nothing in particular went wrong, it was just one of those days. So I'm here to share with those of you that need to know you're not alone riding the struggle bus sometimes.
The day started out fine. The kids got up and we walked with my walking group. Zach made a mess out of some brochures in the school building so that was mildly annoying because of all the bending over my 23 week pregnant self had to do, but easily cleaned up. We then took a trip to a nearby town to get Zoe a new t-ball helmet, that is in my opinion, a pretty sweet helmet. During our time in the store Zoe kept questioning why she wasn't getting a bat and Zach wore the helmet because when he wasn't wearing it, he was screaming. (Side note: 5 year olds in the summer ask about 100 questions an hour. It is maddening.) This, however, is pretty normal for a trip to the store. We then walked to the hardware store, I came out empty handed but the kids came out with suckers. We then drove home.
Zach in Zoe's new helmet.
When we got home, we played outside for a while. Because there were no other kids to play with, my kids had to fight with each other, not play, fight. Zoe didn't want Zach using her bubbles. THEY'RE THE SAME BUBBLES!!! Zach is blowing his bubble gun in my face. Zoe is upset because her bubble gun doesn't work. Zach spills his bubble tray roughly 5 times. Zach gives up on this nonsense and wants to go inside and play with his vrooms (cars). All of this was happening while I was on the phone with my mom.
Bubble Gun Boy
We get inside and Zach eventually climbs up on my lap. He is kicking his legs around and knocks over an old cup of Diet Coke. This is when I start crying the first time. For some reason, my hormones had enough and this was the breaking point. Both kids are watching me cry. I feel dumb for crying over spilled Diet Coke (although not the first time) and a failure as a mom that I can't keep my cool over what was a seemingly normal morning. I texted a couple of friends about how I felt. One of them who has four girls, sweetly called me to talk me off the ledge. I come back from talking on the phone and my poor husband is encountering a crying wife and a two year old saying, "Diet Coke, Mommy sad." After a chat and some lunch, things were a bit better.
The afternoon was fine. Zach went down for a nap, I did some craft work on my computer and Zoe had some quiet time. After her quiet time, Zoe came and laid on my bed next to me while I took a half hour nap and she had some iPad time. I got up and around 4:30 got dinner started. Then because I forgot Nate wasn't going to be home for dinner I needed a different plan. I wasn't going to make a big dinner for my kids to pick at. So the stress is coming back. I looked in the freezer and found some chicken nuggets and tator tots. Okay, perfect, the oven was already preheating and I love tator tots. Zoe comes into the kitchen to inform me that she doesn't like tator tots and will not be eating them. This is why I think that the dinner menu should be a secret until it is on the table. So I finish browning the meat that was supposed to be for dinner and set it aside. Meanwhile I hear Zach's head hit the floor and an "owwww". Ugh, now what is going on? I peak around the wall to see that the kids are using their foam chairs as gymnastics mats and climbing all over them in a not so safe way. That's when I yelled, I yelled at Zoe because she knows that she isn't supposed to use the chairs for that and took the chairs away. Then I see her playing and smiling and get upset because I feel like nothing phases her. I made both kids sit down. And here it comes, the breaking point is hit again and I go into the kitchen and cry some more because I feel bad for yelling at Zoe. I get up and put the nuggets and tots on plates. I am reminded by Zoe that she will not be eating any tator tots and I tell her that I love them and she should really try them with some ketchup. She tried them and liked them. *insert sarcastic facial expression here* I eat my tator tots and the kids finish up.
I realize that it is probably not a good idea for us to stay inside until bedtime so we venture to the park and invite some friends along. They did really well playing in the park and I got some adult interaction with another mom. Fresh air and conversation can help many things. I realize that Zach needs a diaper change and he has informed me that he has a little cut on his finger, so I get ready to go. Of course, Zoe needs to get her shoes on before we can roll out. Zach feeling the need to get home immediately, bolts out of the park and for the road. AHHHHH I can't really run after him in flip flops so I walk as fast as I can trying not to fall in the grass and get him. He got a nice little swat on his bottom for not listening to Mommy when she asked him to come back. Running toward the road is an offense that Mommy doesn't take lightly. An employee from the Children's Home in town pulls up and tells me to keep the kids close because one of their girls with schizophrenia has escaped and they don't know if she will harm herself or others. I then worry about if I left the garage door open or not. THIS PERSON COULD BE IN MY HOUSE.
We get home and head straight for the bath. Zach, who usually loves the bath, was not having it. He just wanted a band-aid for his cut and I told him we had to wash before he could get a band-aid. This led to a full on bath time meltdown and Zach doesn't melt down often. Zoe realizing I need her to cooperate is very good at this point and gets washed fast. We get out of the bath, Zach is still unhappy until we get the band-aid on his finger. He was then just fine. I come out to the living room and Zoe is standing stark naked in front of the open window. Oh Zoe. I finally get her dressed and put on a show for them to watch for about 15 minutes while I take the towels back to the bathroom and empty the tub. I sit down and Zach crawls up for a snuggle. He reminds me of earlier and said, "Diet Coke, Mommy sad." I assure him that I'm not sad anymore and he shows me his ouchie. I get him in bed and then do Zoe's bedtime routine and get her to bed. Snuggles with Zoe at the end of the day are exhausting, but man sometimes they are just what I need as a mama. She still wants me to snuggle even though I was a grouchy mom all day long.
Nursing his finger
At 9:30pm I put some taquitos in the oven because I'm hungry and open up a stress Diet Coke. I turned on some Downton Abbey and relaxed the rest of the evening knowing that I should work on laundry, but guess what? Mama needed Diet Coke and TV. Nate got home around 10:30 and then I called it a day. A long day.
Now, was this the worst day? Not by any means. Was it unbearable? Not really. Was it a lot of work, tiring and at times frustrating? You bet. It doesn't have to be a horrible day to feel like one or to get overwhelmed. That's okay. There are a million other things swimming around in our heads besides what is actually happening, like bills, summer plans, cleaning the house, planning the meals, our jobs inside or out of the home, friendships, family. All of those things are active in the back of our minds while we are taking care of our kids. As many of my friends said to me yesterday, sometimes you just need to cry it out. It was true. I needed a good cry and boy did it help. So hang in there summer mamas. You got this.
That's all for now. God is good.
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